In case you wanted to know—
I still hurt. I still weep.
I still worry. I still care.
I am broken,
Yet I have recovered.
I am lost,
And I am found.
But still, I sigh.
There are ups and downs—
But inside, mostly downs.
I hide this from the world
Because the world expects me
To be okay.
To be healed.
To be empowered.
But I am not all together.
The pieces of my soul that broke away—
I carry them still,
As reminders of what I’ve endured.
I grieve the self that has passed away.
The new is coming.
The old has left.
Still, I weep.
There is nothing familiar around me—
No echo of the love I once knew.
Will true love return again?
Or has it faded
Like memories I keep tucked away?
I am no longer lost in my mind.
I am here, in the now.
And I worry—
What lies ahead?
Will I stay strong?
Will I wither?
I carry nothing extra—
Just memories,
And a survival kit
With only the bare essentials.
I carry my soul.
And the faces of new people who walk beside me.
I love too much—
Or is that even possible?
I care too deeply—
Is that healthy?
I walk alone on this soul-road called life.
People pass me by,
And still, I feel the grief
That has never quite left.
Will it always be here?
Or will it pass—
Like the life I once led?
Still, I survive.
Because I must.
For those who need my strength.
For those who wait in darkness
For someone to lead them home to light.
It’s like a coal mine—
Dark.
Gloomy.
This is the darkness I speak of.
And yet, it is within that darkness
That I see the light—
Like coal transforming into a diamond.
Or…
Was it ever coal?
Was it always a diamond?
Regardless,
You were meant to shine.
To live brightly among the stars.
But will you?
Will you let the light from above
Shine through you,
Into the darkness,
So your soul can find its way home?
I am broken.
I carry the pieces in my survival kit,
Walking like the Fool in tarot—
With hope and faith.
Faith that I will prevail.
The broken pieces I carry
Are memories
And people who have passed.
I walk.
I weep.
But I carry hope, faith, and determination.
Like the phoenix rising,
I, too, will be reborn.
I walk.
I weep.
And I am here.
On this dirt road of life,
I notice golden patches beneath my feet.
Is this my yellow brick road?
The one that leads to the Wizard?
To the wise one I seek?
And as I walk—
I see a mirror.
A reflection of the Wizard I’ve been seeking.
And in that mirror…
I see myself.